When it's difficult to write

There are days when it is quite difficult to start writing.  This is one of those days because it is the day after 17 people were killed in a school shooting in Parkland, FL Broward County.

I watched as they interviewed a student who was in the school at the time of the shooting.  She was only a freshman and she said that she lost nine friends to this maniac.  I cried for her, as I listened.  It is unimaginable pain and I'm a writer who "has a way with words". 

Words fail me right now.  This is the eighteenth mass shooting in the US in 2018.  I can remember when I was a freshman the very worst thing that happened at our school was when 4 kids were arrested for having beer in the parking lot.  It felt so wrong then.  Now, after the things that have gone on in schools today, it seems perfectly fine.  I guess you can't go back in time.

I worry.

I have two grandkids in high school right now.  It could happen to them.  And who knows what type of life threatening problem will come up in 15 years when Skylar is in high school?

I worry.

I worry because as a writer, there should be some words that can be written that will protect Ryan and Kayla.  There should be some profound way to "FIX" this problem.  We are meant to keep our children safe.  Protect them and keep them from harms way. 

No child should go off to school in the morning and not be able to come back home in the afternoon. 

The girl in the TV interview was in a creative writing class and they were writing "love letters".  Then pop, pop, pop.... and a fire alarm was triggered so that everyone would go out in the hall way.  The shooter tried to disguise himself and blend back in with the students as they were escorted out of the school.  He went and got ice cream after this senseless massacre. 

So, was he just tired of the "video game"? 

His mother recently died and his father was dead for a number of years.  Can't blame the parents.

What is the answer?  Guns do not kill... people kill. 

I agree that we should all be allowed to bear arms, however, I believe that they should also be licensed and registered, just like a car or a truck or a motorcycle or a boat.  Why not?

The forefathers never intended that people would start shooting children in school.  He should not have had access to guns.

After my first husband's brain injury, I took his rifles to my parents house for a number of months.  He was not mentally able to control his actions and I was cautious about what he could do with them.

In fact, I did bring them back to the house after a time and one day he came up from the cellar with a rifle pointed at his throat.  I took my kids and we drove to my parents house.  Well, that was after he threw himself down in front of the car, trying to bar us from leaving.  Then I had to drive out the side of the lawn which was opposite the driveway so that we could get away. 

So, how does a grandmother protect her grandchildren in this type of environment? 

I don't know.... I can't, really....it has a lot to do with faith that God will protect them when I'm not there. 

This is where we get into another discussion about if there is a God, why does she allow things like this to happen.  The age old question. 

Tonight I don't have words for that either.  Do you?

I'm just sad, tonight.  I don't want to be a writer.... tonight.